I vividly remember the anticipation waiting for the orphanage staff to bring her up to our hotel room just a few months ago and how my heart leapt and my breath caught when I laid eyes on her little face for the first time.
She was smaller than I thought she would be and looked different from the pictures I had memorized. She was scared and curious and had no idea what was about to transpire. Nothing could have prepared her for the changes that were coming and nothing could have prepared my heart for the utter destruction that was coming my way.
If you see us now, you would never suspect that Julia Ann utterly rejected me those two weeks in China. Posting the picture above is hard and I never intended on sharing it. It was a moment caught during a hard time. Sleeping was usually the only time I could touch her without her having a meltdown. She would put up with me changing diapers and feeding her, but would scream when left with me and fight her hardest to escape my touch.
She fell in love with her daddy after 15 minutes and clung to him with all her might. Her sisters were next to capture her heart (how could they not!), but my time would not come for several more weeks. So many mommas had been in and out of her short life, she was just not ready to let another one hurt her little heart yet again.
Her story is long and deeply woven with things no three year old should have to endure, but we are slowly working wonderful bits into it through God's help. She is strong and courageous and has shown us so many things in the last half year, most importantly, she is teaching me yet another layer of what true love is and what it means to love like God loves.
I will be forever grateful for all of the people who listened to God's urging to help and support us through our adoption journey to bring Julia Ann home. You have given us the gift of family, a daughter, a gift so valuable, we will never be able to repay you for it. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!
